5 Resolutions to NEVER Make.

To Give Up Cookies.

You can’t be sad when you’re holding a warm cookie with a cold shot of milk. White chocolate with macadamia nuts (my favorite), butter cookies, chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, or peanut butter. I like them all. But we must set obtainable goals. Banishing cookies is unacceptable. When you say, “No more cookies,” they are everywhere and all you can think about is cookies.

To Get a Hamster.

They look so darn soft and cute! You go to PetSmart for dog food and everything looks fun! Fish, birds, and…hamsters! You imagine cuddling that little fluff ball and hand feeding him lettuce. But you can’t hold onto them! They spaz all over the place and catapult out of your hand like a like a nerf gun pellet! Then you can’t find them anywhere! They could be on your chest, while you’re sleeping, stealing your breath!

To Wear More Yellow.

There are three colors that I don’t have in my ward robe. I gravitate toward black, green, brown, turquoise, and burgundy clothing. I have virtually no shirts that are blue or red. Which is odd, since they are common colors. And I have absolutely no yellow item in my closet. I admire women who can wear yellow. But if you’re really tall you could end up looking like Big Bird or a banana. If you are too round, you’ll look like a lemon! Some people can pull it off, which I love, because I think it’s a bright, happy color. I can’t do yellow.

To Find a Hot Partner.

I have single friends and divorced friends. Now, I’ve been married for 31 years. So, I’m not searching. But I can tell you this, if you are searching you will find them! But they will probably be all wrong. When you go looking, sure, there are attractive, charming people, but they usually are married, have baggage, or it’s just the wrong time because you’re trying too hard. Or they talk about themselves and never ask you one question. Or they ask financial questions. Be self-sufficient and comfortable in your own skin. Then you won’t need someone to complete you. You have to love yourself first. A life partner is wonderful, but you have a choice. (BTW... This drives men crazy, ladies)

To Be More Patient.

The moment you vow to be more patient, the world loses its mind and drives you insane! The slightest thing just makes it all go sideways. Sometimes I don’t need a motivational quote. I just need a Xanax. You resolve to be more patient and suddenly you are on noise overload! Someone clicking a pen, chewing too loud or laughing excessively sends you over the top. It’s just not a safe bet. Opt for exercising until February and you’ll meet your goal! Life’s too short. It’s almost Valentine’s Day. That aggravated you, didn’t it? See.

Featured Posts